It’s a beautiful morning. This morning, I stare out the window from inside a quiet and calm home, smiling to myself at the delicious peace of the moment while I listen to the birdsong coming from just outside the of the wall beside me. I notice my neighbor across the street barrel out of her front door and over into her car in a flustery rush, backing out and zooming away quickly. It’s a Sunday morning. Maybe she is late for church. She definitely seems to feel late for something.

Immediately afterwards, as if her exit was his cue to enter, I hear my chihuahua Charlie come zipping down the staircase at thunderously wild speeds. He reaches the ground and rounds the corner of the couch before leaping up onto the ottoman beside me and placing a paw on my knee. He stares at me intently like he’s late for his arrival to my lap and should be receiving some sort of a grand welcome now that he finally made it. Because I’m a shameless sucker for his little furry face, I give it to him.

Funny how we’re all rushing around somewhere or another – rushing to some place we’re telling ourselves we should’ve been sooner. Each of those hurried little moments is but a tiny snapshot in our lives that serves as a microcosmic representation of what we’re all doing in the bigger picture. Most of us are telling ourselves that we should’ve been somewhere sooner, accomplished something earlier, whether that “should” be big or small. I should have left for that appointment by now. I should be making more money by now or driving a nicer car. I should be married with my first kid on the way by now. I should have already taken this recycling to the recycling center so it wouldn’t be sitting in my dining room for so long causing an eyesore.

Of course, none of these things are true. Not really. Things happen the way that they happen. That is the truth without any bias. You decide what the events mean to you. What they mean about you. Personally, I don’t believe in “should” at all. When we set arbitrary deadlines for ourselves to reach oftentimes pretty broad and complex goals, it’s really easy to miss them. Yet, we have a tendency to interpret those events and perceived failures as reasons to judge ourselves for being the imperfect people that we are, as if we needed any more of those.

Really, we are all where we’re supposed to be in every right now – because the only place we’re supposed to be is wherever we are. All of the choices you’ve made in your life were made in a massive collection of small and singular moments. In one moment, you may have chosen to sleep in and savor an extra hour or two of rest instead of getting up early to conquer that to-do list. (If you’re like me, you’ve had a ton of moments like that.) Guess what? You needed that rest. You knew that you did – that’s why you gave it to yourself. In another moment, you may have neglected to make it to the gym on a Saturday morning and instead spent it having brunch with your group of friends, gorging on calorie-dense pancakes and mimosas and laughing yourself into a refreshingly joyful state of mind that carried throughout the rest of your weekend. Boy, you needed that. Maybe you missed out on a promotion because you made a mistake at work, which left you stuck at the salary you’re at for much longer than you’d have preferred. Guess what? You needed that. You needed the time to polish those business skills, to fine-tune your money management habits. Maybe you needed the waiting period to gain extra drive towards an even greater opportunity than you were striving for in the first place.

Things happen the way that they happen. You are given millions of small and singular moments to reflect upon the events that do happen and make a choice to either groan with regret and longing for the you that you “should have been” in that moment, (the you that has never existed anywhere except in your imagination,) or to gently and with love and compassion for yourself, unpack the gift that is hidden in the reality that really did happen.

The priceless gift of a lesson that can only be understood through failure. The priceless gift of patience that can only be born and molded in stillness and discomfort. The priceless gift of a path to a beautiful destination that you didn’t expect and could never have pictured for yourself from where you were standing then. You may still be on one of those wonderous paths right now. Actually, you most certainly are.

Gift yourself with choosing the perspective that although you don’t know your destination and can’t control the terrain along the way, or even yourself sometimes it often feels… You possess the power right now and in every small singular moment to show up as the imperfect you that you are and uncover joy and beauty by noticing the flowers around you – wherever you are standing.